You locked me in with those Siberian blue eyes the first day I laid eyes upon you, 3 and 1/2 years ago. You are my best friend, whom I love more than just about anyone. I don't know if you'll ever know, because I don't know if you deserve too. Or perhaps I am just too coward. Either way, it doesn't matter, I am always going to love you. And that's a fact. Completely unconditionally and even when I am dating other guys. You'll always be in the back of my mind. Like a favorite old book forgotten about and stashed away. But always pulled out and dusted off when down or lonely, as a simple reminder of just good it is. I like to pretend these feelings aren't real. But if they weren't real, then they would go away. However, they don't. They are here to stay. I feel lighter on my feet with you. I laugh like a child with you. We are there for each other no matter what. I know I can always count on you, to be at my side. To support when I am feeling crippled. You're my left foot and I believe I am yours.
Remember Michael Gavillot. I wrote this in my journal 3 years ago in New Zealand. Luckily, you'll always be some part of my life, so I don't just have to remember. Rather, I can build memories with you instead.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
some things i've learned...
I don't know if I believe things happen for a reason but I do believe that things happen, and a reason/lesson can be found. Experiences shape our the past, present, and future selves. From every painful experience is a rewarding and empowering lesson or memory. Every positive experience gives us an ability to know how good life can truly be. I have decided to make a list of lessons I have learned. With no explanation, for that would take a book. But just some things I have learned. And I will add to this list each time I learn something valuable from life.
1) Do something for just yourself everyday
2) Enjoy what you have and never forget how lucky you are
3) Fall in lust
4) Fall in love
5) If you heart breaks, pick yourself back up, and grow from it
6) It wasn't a mistake if it once put a smile upon your face
7) Don't waste your time in a broken relationship or friendship, it's no use, MOVE ON
8) Learn how to be alone
9) Push your comfort zone
10) Let yourself be vulnerable
11) Try harder
12) Take naps
13) RELAX
14) Breath
15) Never forget who loves you, and that you are infact loved
16) Cry. Get mad. Laugh. Scream. Sing, don't be afraid of letting your emotion out.
1) Do something for just yourself everyday
2) Enjoy what you have and never forget how lucky you are
3) Fall in lust
4) Fall in love
5) If you heart breaks, pick yourself back up, and grow from it
6) It wasn't a mistake if it once put a smile upon your face
7) Don't waste your time in a broken relationship or friendship, it's no use, MOVE ON
8) Learn how to be alone
9) Push your comfort zone
10) Let yourself be vulnerable
11) Try harder
12) Take naps
13) RELAX
14) Breath
15) Never forget who loves you, and that you are infact loved
16) Cry. Get mad. Laugh. Scream. Sing, don't be afraid of letting your emotion out.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Take what others give you........
Our time has come for us to part
but you'll always remain in my heart
we fell in love, we fell out
what we had was special without doubt
you made me melt
and you made me scream
most of all you made me love
Tyler Cleaver has been the most significant part of my life in the past year. We fell in love and fell out, then did it all over again. Though, I have cried and screamed, I also loved with everything I had. From my very core. We weren't meant to be in the end. But I know we'll have a bond, at least as friends for a very long time to come. I took something you gave me, something I have never had before. That is the ability to speak my mind, be honest, communicate clearly, and to express my emotions. To wear my heart on my sleeve. Before you, everything emotion that was painful I immediately placed in a bottle until that bottle popped. Not with you, and not anymore. Whether or not you'll ever know you gave me something concrete, something that I hope I can use forever. Though, it pains that we're a part I know it's for the best. I will always love you a friend. And I am pretty you'll always love me as friend.
Thank you.
but you'll always remain in my heart
we fell in love, we fell out
what we had was special without doubt
you made me melt
and you made me scream
most of all you made me love
Tyler Cleaver has been the most significant part of my life in the past year. We fell in love and fell out, then did it all over again. Though, I have cried and screamed, I also loved with everything I had. From my very core. We weren't meant to be in the end. But I know we'll have a bond, at least as friends for a very long time to come. I took something you gave me, something I have never had before. That is the ability to speak my mind, be honest, communicate clearly, and to express my emotions. To wear my heart on my sleeve. Before you, everything emotion that was painful I immediately placed in a bottle until that bottle popped. Not with you, and not anymore. Whether or not you'll ever know you gave me something concrete, something that I hope I can use forever. Though, it pains that we're a part I know it's for the best. I will always love you a friend. And I am pretty you'll always love me as friend.
Thank you.
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